Day 8 of No Caffeine: psychic premonitions

I KNEW you were going to read this. The stars have foretold it. What? How dare you! Maybe I shall defriend you....Well, maybe I should……So’s YOUR mother….Good day, sir. I believe I said good day!!!
[I bow and swirl my cape as I exit stage left.]
[My lovely assistant explodes smoke bombs, unleashes doves into the audience, and thanks everyone for visiting the Amazing Fredini.]
[Backstage I glower and start slugging whiskey. Whiskey is my assistant’s tiny toy poodle, and I beat him unmercifully whenever I get the chance. Thank you, goodnight!]