ONE FISH, TWO FISH

                    #7 in a series of daily one-act plays

[ACT I, Scene I, a playwright pitches his play to a potential financer]

FINANCER: That's the play? A salmon? A fish as the main character?

PLAYWRIGHT: Yes.

FINANCER: A salmon who contemplates America as he swims through all the rivers bordering its biggest cities?

PLAYWRIGHT: Yessir.

FINANCER: A salmon who has lived for more than 200 years and observed all of our country's major political events?
PLAYWRIGHT: That is correct.

FINANCER: A salmon who contemplates environmental issues, through song, including a number with chorus girls dressed as various aquatic life?

PLAYWRIGHT: With all due respect, I thought it the best way to convey the message.

FINANCER: And you won't budge on the title: "America-Something Fishy's Goin' On."

PLAYWRIGHT: I will not.

FINANCER: Sir, I won't lie to you. I've seen a lot of plays cross my desk, but I must tell you-I will not finance this. I will not finance it not because I do not like it, but because it hits too close to home. For you see, sir; I too, like your main character, am a fish.

[financer unzips his body from the top of his head, and a salmon is revealed underneath, the fish flips around on the desk]

PLAYWRIGHT [relieved]: Well then, you, out of anyone, can understand it. For you see, it's not just my play-it's my autobiography.

[Playwright unzips as well and flips around in his chair]

[lights cut  to only red, white and blue]

[chorus girls dressed as Abe Lincoln appear holding sparklers. They sing Yankee Doodle Dandy, while the fishes flip around]

[the fish are finally placed in a tank by a smiling chorus girl at song's end]

                                      (curtain)