LUST FOR LIFE

                                 # 26 in a series of daily one-act, one scene plays

[ACT I, Scene I: two men sit at a bar, one wears a captain's cap]

MAN: Are you a boating enthusiast?

CAP: No, I'm just an enthusiast in general.

MAN: Huh?

CAP: Well, I mean, say there's a political campaign based in town, as there often is. It doesn't matter which party's headquarters it is- I'll be there to help. Last quarter I was a Republican, the quarter before I was a Libertarian. Tomorrow I'll be holding a sign for whoever the Democratic runner is.

MAN: So you like politics?

CAP: Come again?

MAN: You are enthusiastic about politics?

CAP: No, again, I'm just enthusiastic about everything. For instance, the lawn and garden show held at the Arboretum.

MAN: Ah yes, beautiful. The wife dragged me there. You'd think you had walked into the garden of Eden.

CAP: Not for me. I'm highly allergic to plants. I had to be rushed from my hydrangea stand to the hospital within half an hour of setting it up.

MAN [stunned]: That's terrible. You grew hydrangeas and weren't aware you're allergic?

CAP: Oh no, I knew I was allergic. I'm highly allergic to all plants. Highly. I can't even walk near the produce aisle in the supermarket. No, the hydrangeas weren't mine, I simply bought them from a greenhouse so I could sell them.

MAN: For God's sake, why, if you're allergic?

CAP: Because. As I've told you, I'm an enthusiast. A general enthusiast. I generally am enthused about things. Generally. It's what I do. Take now for instance: I can't drink. The tiniest amount of alcohol is pure poison to me.

[CAP down a shot in front of him and falls to the floor in paroxysms]

MAN: Doctor! Is there a doctor in the house?

CAP [from the floor]: No, no doctor. Today I am enthusiastic about my death [dies].


                                            (curtain)