THE RETURN OF THE KNIFE

                                # 28 in a series of daily one-act, one scene plays

[ACT I, Scene I, announcer in a mauve suit faces the audience]

ANNOUNCER: And now for something you'll really enjoy: Zanzibar El Cuchillo-Surrealist Poet.

[announcer leaves and Zanzibar enters. He is wearing a suit of vanilla white coloring. He has a shock of gray hair and a moustache that beggars description, except to say it looks like it woke up one day and decided to defy the laws of gravity]

ZANZIBAR: Ladies and gentle worms [pauses and points to the crowd]. The maggots of time gnaw at your skull!

[turns his back to the crowd, then whips around and yells]:

 I HAVE ATTEND THE WEDDING OF A THOUSAND DOGS!

[cups ear]: Listen! Can you hear him? Elvis Presley's ghost cries out. "Mama! Mamaaaa!"

[covers eyes to see audience] It's getting dark, America. Do you know where your Coca-Cola is? Must I wait forever for the return of the 25 cent hot dog? The atom bomb?

[clenches fist]: Bacon. 
                         Bacon on everything.
                         Bay-con.
                         On.
                         Ev-ry.
                         Thing.

[pauses, then falls to his knees and screams]: Fudgie the Whale!

[The lights fall to a spotlight on Zanzibar, and he drops his head.]

[There is no applause from the audience; a man clears his throat]

ZANZIBAR [towards man who cleared throat]: Thank you! You're very kind. My wife left me. My art is all I have!


                                           (curtain)