And Now a Word From Our Sponsor:

 

So, you're about to be raptured. But who's going to care for your pets? Pets aren't allowed into heaven. Our team of animal care specialists will see to it that all your pets are fed and cared for long after you've entered the afterlife. And we do it all free of charge. Simply send Pet Care* a copy of your address and house key. In no way will our specialists just sit on your couch and watch free cable. We’re highly trained professionals. Mr. Binky will be in very good hands.  

*Pet Care, a division of the Wide World Animal Fight Championship. WWAFC: Coming Soon-Shakedown 2011-Parrott versus Terrier!! Who You Calling a Cracker?